[CLIENT INTERVIEW] Liz's Story: How to Get Promoted and Improve Work-Life Balance

In this interview, you’ll learn:

• Why so many smart women feel overwhelmed and overwork even after getting promoted

• Why seeking advice from well-meaning friends doesn’t work, especially in figuring out how to avoid burnout

• The real reason smart women don’t set realistic expectations at work and how to address with self-trust

• How to overcome fear of failure by gaining authority over your emotions, without judging yourself or beating yourself over smallest things

• The simple shift that empowered Liz to better negotiate her work-life balance for herself and her team as well as get promoted to Senior Director

Are you an overachiever who’s overcommitted and overworked? It’s time you ask for the promotion and resources you need to improve your work-life balance, so you can sleep better, feel better, and add more value at work. Book your consult today. I will help you see how my proven 5-step process for getting promoted will work for your specific situation.

Start of transcript

Jamie Lee:

Hello. My name is Jamie Lee. I'm an executive coach. I help smart women who hate office politics get promoted and better paid without throwing anyone under the bus. Today I have one of my best clients. Liz. Liz is a director of marketing and communications at a national nonprofit. And I think her story is so inspiring because she really is a living testament to what you can do in your career and in your life through the power of just managing your mind, through the power of mindset.

Jamie Lee:

I'm going to ask questions to Liz so she can tell us herself, but the results that she created in a really short span of time in her career after being promoted and feeling overwhelmed, is just really amazing. So without further ado, Liz, would you share with our audience where you're joining us from? I'm in New York city and Liz you're where?

Liz :

I'm in Washington, DC.

Jamie Lee:

Okay, awesome. And what was the problem that you were having in your career that you were struggling with before you sought out coaching?

Liz :

Thank you so much for the introduction, Jamie. In early 2020, I was promoted into a leadership and management role as the director of marketing and communications at a national nonprofit organization. And overnight I went from being an experienced member of the team, but still an individual contributor, to overseeing a team, guiding executive leadership, and setting the course for our marketing and communication strategy. And two weeks after I stepped into this role, COVID-19 hit, which meant I had to act quickly to manage our external communications and communicate with stakeholders about how we were pivoting.

Liz :

At the same time, I was launching a new website and brand, a rapid response COVID-19 program, and supporting a major change communications plan about a big operational change to our programs. And I was doing it all essentially in this first month with a smaller team as a first time manager. So I found myself working 70 hour weeks. And even after these projects were complete, I kept working really long hours, including on the weekends. And I couldn't take any time off, or at least that's how it felt. I wasn't sleeping well, I was thinking about work all of the time. Everything felt very urgent. And even though I really loved the work, I was really miserable. So fortunately, at least I was aware of that this isn't sustainable, and I knew I had to make a change, which is why I reached out to you and to inquire about coaching.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah. And so how did it feel? You said it was miserable.

Liz :

It was miserable.

Jamie Lee:

What was it like for you to try to solve this problem of overworking? It sounded like you were on the way to burnout.

Liz :

I think that's accurate. It was overwhelming. I mean, I knew that I looked around at other people and they didn't seem to be having the same experience as me. So it was like, "What am I doing differently? Why am I overworking? And I don't necessarily see other people doing this?" So I did talk to a lot of friends and colleagues in my field, and no one really had any advice that specifically hit home for me. A lot of people just said, "Oh, it's normal to work a lot, but you still have to take time for yourself," and, "Be careful with burnout." But even though that made sense to me intellectually, I couldn't make it happen. I didn't know what I was doing wrong, but I couldn't figure it out on my own.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah. Okay. And so the thing that we coached on was self-confidence, and I'm curious, when you look back when you were struggling with this problem, where were you with your self-confidence and how did that play into being on the path to burnout?

Liz :

Hmm, that's a great question. I just didn't trust my own expertise. And so even though I had been really successful in my previous roles and I had certainly been working towards a leadership position for some time, my self-confidence hadn't really kept pace with that. And so even though I was showing up every day in my role as a leader, I didn't feel like one on the inside. And so it made it difficult for me to, I think, communicate and convey to other stakeholders, to colleagues, et cetera, what I was experiencing. I wasn't asking for help. I wasn't sharing what I was struggling with when it came to workload. I wasn't setting realistic expectations. There are a lot of my own behaviors that I think were leading to overwork that were stemming from a lack of self confidence or a lack of self belief in my own expertise and standing.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah. And so how has coaching with me different for you as a solution to this overworking, lack of self-confidence problem?

Liz :

Coaching with you was different because I had these stories that were on repeat in my mind. I didn't recognize them as stories at that time, but if I spoke to a friend or maybe someone else in a similar role as me, they would just agree, "Oh, you have too much work. Yeah, this sounds like a really bad situation," or, "Maybe it's not the right fit for you." But working with you, Jamie, helped me see that these were stories or beliefs that I had about work. And interestingly, they were beliefs that I'd had for a long time that maybe just played out in different ways in previous roles, but were coming out a little bit more full force now that I had entered a leadership role.

Liz :

And so you helped me see that I had all these stories and beliefs that were operating in the background of my day to day that I hadn't even brought awareness to. And I think we specifically uncovered that some of my overworking, or a good portion of it, was stemming from a fear of failure, a feeling of not being good enough, not wanting to feel inadequate. And that was something that I really did not know. So working on the mindset and working on new beliefs through coaching was really critical to where I am now.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah. And I just want to note that it's such a common fear, right? We all fear failure. We all fear, "Maybe I'm not good enough." But I think what was so critical for you is that having that awareness that that was what was driving the behavior, and then you doing something with that awareness, you making a conscious choice with that awareness. Yeah. Really, really good. Okay. So share with us, what was the moment you realized coaching was working for you?

Liz :

I have two moments. The first one that I realized that coaching was really working for me was that early on, we didn't cover that I was working some extra hours to avoid feeling my emotions. That fear of failure, fear of feeling inadequacy, or even shame. And you invited me to commit to treating myself with compassion, no matter what I was experiencing, no matter what I was feeling. And that was just really powerful for me. I hadn't realized before that I was really judging myself and beating myself up over the smallest things. And I wasn't doing it intentionally or anything like that, but that invitation to just, "Oh no, I can be compassionate with myself. It's okay," was really changing for me in how I treated myself and how I viewed myself at work and in my life.

Liz :

And then the second moment was, I was able to boldly speak up and negotiate workload, which was really made possible due to coaching. I had been really afraid to speak up, speak my mind in forums, where I would be heard, and through our coaching we coached on this topic multiple times. And since then, I've really been speaking up about the need for prioritization, about balancing workloads, and it's been received very well. So that was a huge result. That was like, "Okay, coaching is working for me."

Jamie Lee:

Awesome. I love it. And I just want to note that what you shared with us was so powerful because people who are watching this or listening to this, they're most likely women who are hard on themselves and it has helped them. And I know this from my experience and my clients' experience that, being hard on yourself, beating yourself up, setting really high expectations and standards for yourself, you're like, "It motivates me to get more done. And when I get more done, I get rewarded. So it's been working. Why isn't it working now, now that I'm in a directorship or in a bigger position of leadership," right?

Jamie Lee:

What got you there won't get you to the next level. Right. And it's such a simple, and it might even sound like soft to be like, "Wait, be compassionate with myself? No, that sounds too easy." Right? And yet it is the hardest thing because we have to unwind the story that we have been taught, that we have to keep doing more to be good enough. Right? And so we coached on, what if we are already good enough? What if we have already proven ourselves?

Jamie Lee:

And I think the second thing that you talked about, that becomes possible. Right? Able to self-advocate, negotiate, and set boundaries, set clear expectations become so much more easier when you come from a place of self kindness, self acceptance, self validation. And I think you've done that so, beautifully. So thank you so much for sharing that.

Jamie Lee:

And share with us, what has changed now? How is your career, how is your life different now that you are actively solving this problem, you've generated some really amazing results. And also tell us about the results you've created.

Liz :

Yeah, absolutely. So many results. It's actually really mind blowing to think about where I was six to eight months ago when we first started coaching together. So first, I feel like I completely rewired my beliefs about work. And I mentioned this before, but I think I had these beliefs for a very long time, but they really just came out in full force when I stepped up to the next level.

Liz :

And so these beliefs like self-worth being tied to like productivity, and working all the time, and people pleasing, untangling that is something that will serve me for the rest of my life and the rest of my career. So I think it was really essential and critical that I addressed it earlier rather than later. And I really encourage anyone who's dealing with those issues to get coaching earlier, sooner rather than later.

Liz :

But in six months I went from working around, yeah, it was around 70 hours a week, on weekends, to a normal work week, which was really great for me. And I think everyone's different with what their ideal week is like, but I really needed a little bit more balance and time off. I've been able to take all of my vacation time. I advocated for and onboarded two new full-time staff members on my team. I've better negotiated work to create better work-life balance, not just for me, but for my entire team. And I was just promoted to senior director.

Liz :

So I've noticed a huge change in myself, I think, when looking back at my results, but also, I mean, my partner, my family and my friends have all noticed a change in me, a positive one. And it's been great to both enjoy my work again, because I love this work, and enjoy life again as well. So it's great. I no longer believe I have to be working all the time as fast as possible in order to be valued at work. And I see evidence of how important it is to rest and recharge so that I can show up energized and ready to contribute.

Jamie Lee:

So, so proud of you. Congratulations on your promotion and all these amazing results. You're actually getting more done through more people while you get to take time off, while you get to enjoy your life. Would you be open to sharing the impossible goal that we coached on?

Liz :

Yeah, absolutely.

Jamie Lee:

Are you okay with that?

Liz :

Sure.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah, I think it would be so fun because for me, my personal mission is to help women become bolder, braver, better paid. And when I think about being better paid, it's not just the money, but in the quality of life, how much fun we're having. We get paid in fun. So yeah, I'd love for you to share with us.

Liz :

Sure. So toward the end of 2020, Jamie and I had a very momentous coaching session about impossible goals for 2021. And Jamie, you asked me what I really wanted or really desired. And there was two, it was two things, and they were related. One of them was to end work earlier. So maybe around 5:30 each day, and to belly dance every single day.

Liz :

For some context, I've been dancing for over 15 years and it's my joy and passion. It's something I love, it lights me up. And I had really lost that over the last year since I had stepped into this role. And it's not something I had ever brought up in coaching until this session, because it was so tied to my beliefs about work and needing to work all the time that I wasn't even pursuing the things that I love in my free time. And so I'm very happy to say that in the first six weeks of 2021, I have been getting really great work/life balance and dancing every single day.

Jamie Lee:

Yay. I'm so happy for you. Love that.

Liz :

Thank you.

Jamie Lee:

Is there a word of advice that you would like to share with a leading woman, a woman who's just been promoted, who is stepping to a higher level in her career, and like you, all these beliefs, these limiting beliefs are coming up and so she's feeling stuck or overwhelmed? What would you share with her?

Liz :

The advice that I would share with someone who's getting ready, or is, or has stepped into the next level of their career is to get coaching as soon as possible. Really though, because I mean, I spent the first four months in my role really struggling. And I think it's normal to grow and have challenges at work. That's just part of life. But evaluating and understanding that my beliefs were optional, and then moving away from them, really improved everything and made it much more sustainable.

Liz :

I mean, when I started coaching with Jamie, I was almost at the point where I was thinking about potentially quitting or looking for another position, even though I really loved the work. And I think that it just goes to show how important mindset is. And so if you're in that position, or even just curious about what coaching can do for you, I think that's the number one thing.

Jamie Lee:

Yeah. And thank you for sharing that. I didn't pay you, just for the record. I didn't bribe Liz to say that.

Liz :

She didn't.

Jamie Lee:

But I think this is so true and I think you're such a great testament because not only are you a great client, but you're a student of your own mindset. You take self-coaching very seriously. Right? In between the sessions you take this work and you do it on your own so that you get extra mileage, extra value out of it. And I think that really is the reason why you have these amazing results for yourself, because of your personal responsibility, the level to which you take responsibility for your own beliefs and your mindset. And you show us how, when you change your beliefs, it doesn't just change your mind. It changes your behavior. And when you do, you have different results. So good.

Liz :

Absolutely.

Jamie Lee:

Thank you so much, Liz, for your time, for your wisdom, for your stories and experience. I really appreciate you.

Liz :

I appreciate you too, Jamie. Thank you so much.

Jamie Lee:

And I want to see you belly dance one of these days.

Liz :

I will send you, I'll have to send you, a video soon of a performance.

Jamie Lee:

Awesome. Thank you.

Liz :

Thank you so much.

End of transcript

Are you an overachiever who’s overcommitted and overworked? It’s time you ask for the promotion and resources you need to improve your work-life balance, so you can sleep better, feel better, and add more value at work. Book your consult today. I will help you see how my proven 5-step process for getting promoted will work for your specific situation.