“Do you do this with every client?” My client asked me yesterday.
She had already secured a promotion to Director during our coaching engagement and was gearing up to apply for another one.
I teach a concept called Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee (not a new idea 💡 — I first heard it from Kara Snyder when she coached me about a decade ago, and I’ve run with it ever since).
Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee, or IBSC, for short, is the voice of our inner critic.
Ask a bright, ambitious manager how they’d know they have executive presence — and you might hear something that sounds more like a hostage situation than leadership.
What if you don’t have to figure out office politics the hard way?
What if handling frustrating work situations didn’t require Machiavellian maneuvers—or pretending everything’s fine?
Here’s a simple guide to walk you through your options.
On a cold February night in 2008, I ran away from the South Slope apartment I'd been sharing with my husband like my life depended on it. In a full-blown panic, I ran down 4th Avenue shrieking, "JUST GO AWAY!" to the man I'd shared a life with for the last three years.
When you’re that rare woman, one of the handful of people of color, or the neuro-sparkly oddball in leadership…Navigating office politics and advocating for yourself is spiritual work.
As an executive coach I work for the 1% -- but not the ones hoarding wealth. The 1% I work with are stockpiling something even more powerful, even more in short supply these days: Courage, vision, and the guts to rewrite the rules.
As with so many hard-working, conscientious professionals I've had the privilege of working with, the real challenge wasn’t the logistics of securing multiple offers. It was socialized guilt. Guilt is a learned emotion. It got ingrained in us by authority figures who wanted us to be—let’s be blunt—easily controllable.
The odds are stacked against employees, especially women and minorities. Macroeconomics, mismanagement, layoffs, discrimination—forces beyond your control determine your fate.
So why bother?
Why fight for a promotion?
Ever get a Slack (or Teams) message so harshly worded it makes you want to throw your laptop out the window?
Yeah, my client did too.
And that frustration? It can stick, mess with your focus, confidence, and even how you show up in that next 1:1 — unless you have a scientifically proven way to clear it.
Armed with confidence-boosting tools, my client aced the technical and behavioral interviews. When it became clear an offer was on the table, she reached out to me: "How should I negotiate this?" Here's how we approached it with three key steps…
A client recently came to a session with an anxiety level of ten out of ten. By the time she arrived at our coaching session, she had already spent an hour talking to a therapist about the accident. Yet, she still felt like she was, in her words, “surviving but not thriving.”
"Let’s address that anxiety," I said.
Cindy Gallop famously says, "The amount you ask for in a salary negotiation is the highest amount you can say out loud without actually bursting out laughing.”
This morning, I repeated that advice to a coaching client—a high-achieving attorney on the verge of receiving a new job offer.
The real reason to negotiate your next job offer or raise goes far beyond your paycheck.
But first, let’s talk numbers. When you negotiate, your chances of a pay increase go way up:
📊 85% of those who negotiate get at least some increase (Salary.com survey)
💼 70%+ of hiring managers expect candidates to negotiate (Robert Half survey)
💰 Typical salary increases range from 10% to 20%—some secure even more.
You're invited to two upcoming events. One is a virtual workshop on salary negotiation via Zoom (2/14/25) and the second an in-person live workshop on confidence in New York City (3/12/25).
My coaching practice stands for diversity, inclusion, and self-advocacy—empowering women, non-binary folks, and people of color in workplaces that often overlook them. Tune into my podcast interviews on navigating workplace bias, handling discrimination, and building confidence. Plus, join my Confidence Lab in NYC on March 12 to overcome self-doubt using neuroplasticity.
'Tis the season for this sort of thing.
A look back at 2024: a tumultuous, terrible-yet-terrific year
When I was 16, I came home from a mission trip to an empty apartment. No family, no note—just a busted dresser with beads my parents used to make Puerto Rican flags for their gift shop in Jackson Heights, Queens.
It was 1998. No cell phone, no way to reach anyone.
The old logic of career progression and leadership advancement -- or any 'supposed to be's -- is dissolving before our eyes.
Whether it's the "Silver Wave," a red wave, or changes fueled by AI, there's a tidal wave of change underway.
Strange times call for getting...weird.
As Kamala said:
Don't you ever listen when anyone tells you something is impossible, because it has never been done before. You have the capacity to do extraordinary good in the world.
