3 Respectful Ways to Interrupt the Interrupters
In the fifth grade, I was the nerdy Asian kid with bad manners.
The classroom teacher, Ms. Green once reprimanded me because I interrupted her to ask a question.
She turned to me with a stern look and said, "It’s rude to interrupt people while they’re talking."
That stayed with me for a LONG time. (And countless other times adults told me to be quiet)
Later, when I worked as Operations Director at tech companies, as the only woman and woman of color at the leadership table…
I’d freeze up in the middle of a meeting I was running if someone (almost always a man, let’s be real) interrupted me or interjected, forcing a sharp left turn to the discussion at hand.
Even though the interrupter seemed to have zero qualms, I felt anxious taking back the reins of the meeting, because…
"What if they think I’m rude?"
In an instant I was back in fifth grade, feeling bad about myself.
Here’s what I didn’t know:
In my former life as Director, I’d been blind to what caused this unequal gender dynamic —
A woman, and a person of color, socialized to acquiesce in silence and a man socialized to speak up, even if unqualified.
But now I know the truth:
In the workplace, staying silent when people interrupted me was not rude to others.
IT WAS RUDE TO ME.
My acquiescence cut into my own perceived authority and therefore my confidence.
The confidence I needed to lead, influence, and negotiate in my career.
If my story resonates with you, know that interrupting the interrupter is a sign of RESPECT — most importantly self-respect.
The respect you deserve as you assert your authority, as the professional who came prepared. The thought leader whose ideas MATTER.
To help you give yourself respect, here are three sample scripts for when you’re interrupted:
1. Simply say, "I’m gonna pause you right here."
Go back to making that important point you were making.
2. Tell the interrupter, "Good point, let’s get back to talking about X, because that’s what this discussion is about."
3. Let’s say you asked Pat to share their update, and Sam interrupted Pat with their uninvited two cents…Interject the cross talk and say, "Hey, I can’t hear what Pat is saying because Sam talked right over them. This is important. Pat, what were you saying?"
Respecting yourself is the first step to gaining the respect of others.
Doing it this way, you will not only grow your self-respect, but also the muscle for leading, advocating, and achieving the growth you want in your career.
If you want expert guidance so you can show utmost respect to what you are capable of, I invite you to book your 1:1 sales call with me.
I guarantee you will leave with your custom blueprint for genuine confidence that shines, from the meeting to the boardroom.
Talk soon,
Jamie
Yours truly way back when I had “bad manners” and huge chipmunk cheeks.
P.S. In coaching, you will unlearn stories from an irrelevant past that are holding you back from the career growth you want in the future.
You will learn concrete and cutting-edge tools to help you heal from harmful gender socialization that has you reeling in anxiety instead of speaking up with confidence.
You will be guided in a custom process that marries the best of feminist coaching with proven, mutual-benefit strategies, so you ask for exactly what you want and GET IT.
P.P.S. Here's a recent win from a client:
Coaching with Jamie is like taking 3 Advils for mental pain and the effects don't fade.
I learned that the reason I was getting so anxious and worried about rejection in my career is NOT because I'm a weak person, but because I am trailblazing as a woman in a male-dominated industry...
I also learned that self-advocacy is an act of service, which gave me the courage to tell decision makers exactly what I want.
As a result, I got offered the exact job opportunity I wanted, which is a huge win.
- Client S
